


Hair

by entanglednow



Category: Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-19
Updated: 2008-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/pseuds/entanglednow





	Hair

"What have you done to your hair?" Howard asks, though he's aware before the sentence has completely escaped that there's rather too much shock, horror and panic for even Vince to fail to spot.

"What?"

The hair is the same from every angle, Howard knows, Howard has checked. It's like modern architecture meets an eighties revival and after a wild drunken party they conceive a hairspray flavoured love child.

"What's the matter, I couldn't tell if you were going out or coming in?"

Vince's arms fold in complicated ways until he has his hands balanced on his hips.

"What are you talking about, this is the future of hair, I'm decades before my time, this is so close to the cutting edge of fashion I'm lucky I still have all my fingers!"

Howard hopes his facial expression does something to convey his inner feelings.

Vince huffs. "You're just jealous of the hair."

"I'm not jealous of the hair, I'm afraid for the hair, I want to sit it down and give it a warm cup of tea and a foil blanket." Howard tries to keep his voice level, but he fears a less than sensible strain of 'disturbed bystander' has crept in.

Vince makes a face down his own nose at him. Howard remains obstinate in his opinions.

"People love this hair."

"People," Howard says suspiciously.

"Real people," Vince raises his hands, waves them at head height, as if to smooth his new hair's hurt feelings without touching it. "They're loving it!"

"Oh they are are they." Howard isn't sure quite how close to get to the hair, it may have magnetic properties. "What did you do, ask a starling?"

"It was a Sparrow actually."

"Of course it was," Howard says sensibly. "And you were listening to a Sparrow's opinion on your hair why exactly, they have feathers."

"Yeah, well they've built up an entire history of hair envy, they're hair connoisseurs, they know what they're talking about."

"They're talking bollocks," Howard says, with what he believes is probably the honesty that Vince deserves.

"You've got to have the right sort of brain waves to carry off hair like this, put the wrong sort of brain under this 'do' and it'd collapse like a wet soufflé." Vince makes his hair smoothing motions again.

Howard gives in, and resolves to pretend the hair doesn't exist, until such time as it's gone, or it manages to save the world in some astonishingly unlikely way.

"Yes, yes, whatever. I'm sure you have other people to show your hair to. I'm sure you have better things to do, like counting how many Smarties you can fit in a shoe."

"Don't be mad Howard, why would I put Smarties in a shoe? What would I do with a shoe full of Smarties?"

"Eat them?" Howard suggests, which seems the only possible sensible answer.

Vince eyes him like he's the maddest person in the whole world.

"After they've been in a shoe, I don't think so."


End file.
